The Untangled Self

The Untangled Self

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Identity

The Belonging Paradox: Why Trying to Fit in Guarantees You Never Will
Why do we feel like outsiders everywhere? Learn how pre-rejecting yourself creates the belonging problem you're trying to avoid.
 • Rob Lefort
Succeeding at Failure: Why Getting it Wrong is How You Get it Right
Most people get failure wrong—they either ignore it or let it define them. Here's how to fail productively, extract the lessons, and actually grow from…
 • Rob Lefort
Why Introverts Overspend Their Social Budget and End Up Exhausted
For introverts, conversations comes with an emotional cost. Learn what happens when your nervous system spends more than it can recharge, and how to…
 • Rob Lefort
Marina Abramović, The Art of Being Human
How Performance Art strips away our psychological defenses and forces us to confront vulnerability, mortality, and existential angst.
 • Rob Lefort
Why You Keep Repeating the Same Mistakes and How to Fix the Bug
A New Year's Reality Check: Your brain's mental shortcuts can turn mistakes into habits. Here's why you keep repeating errors and what actually breaks…
 • Rob Lefort
The Effort-Avoidance Bias: When Choosing Comfort Makes Your Life Smaller
Why laziness, procrastination, and avoidance are the same psychological mechanism—and how deliberately seeking friction rewires your brain from…
 • Rob Lefort
Why Smart People Stay Stuck (and What Actually Breaks the Pattern)
On blind spots, expertise traps, why self-improvement has structural limits, and why external feedback isn't optional
 • Rob Lefort
The Catch-22 of Anxious Attachment
Without self-worth, growth is impossible, but anxious attachment makes achieving it seem nearly impossible. Here's how to break free
 • Rob Lefort
You're Not Broken—Your Survival Strategy Is
Why capable people suddenly feel like they're disappearing—and what's actually collapsing when you can't recognize yourself anymore.
 • Rob Lefort
Why Your Brain Treats Bad Relationships Like a Slot Machine
The dopamine trap makes you choose people who keep you guessing. Here's the neuroscience behind why chaos feels like chemistry—and how to break the…
 • Rob Lefort
The Reason Why Self-Esteem Dies When You Know Yourself Too Well
Why self-aware people struggle with confidence, how to decode your envy, and why feeling like a fraud means you're more honest than most.
 • Rob Lefort
Borderline Personality and Relationships: When Love Isn't Enough
A therapist's honest, practical guide to navigating relationships with someone who has BPD—without the usual platitudes or oversimplifications.
 • Rob Lefort
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