The Untangled Self

The Untangled Self

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Never Good Enough: The Hidden Cost of Perfectionism
Perfectionism feels like ambition but acts like a wound. Unpack where it comes from, what it costs you, and how to stop chasing approval you were never…
 • Rob Lefort
Understanding Gaslighting Beyond the Buzzword
Gaslighting is the systematic undermining of someone's confidence in their perception. Recognizing this distinction is essential for distinguishing…
 • Rob Lefort
Open Relationships: When Sexual Liberation Meets Tuesday Morning Carpools
A psychotherapist's perspective on open relationships: The research, the risks, and what nobody tells you about navigating non-monogamy with kids…
 • Rob Lefort
The Belonging Paradox: Why Trying to Fit in Guarantees You Never Will
Why do we feel like outsiders everywhere? Learn how pre-rejecting yourself creates the belonging problem you're trying to avoid.
 • Rob Lefort
Succeeding at Failure: Why Getting it Wrong is How You Get it Right
Most people get failure wrong—they either ignore it or let it define them. Here's how to fail productively, extract the lessons, and actually grow from…
 • Rob Lefort

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Beyond Body Count: The Scientific Predictors of Infidelity
The research-backed truth about infidelity: from eye movements to evolutionary instincts, what science actually reveals about who cheats and why.
 • Rob Lefort
Why Introverts Overspend Their Social Budget and End Up Exhausted
For introverts, conversations comes with an emotional cost. Learn what happens when your nervous system spends more than it can recharge, and how to…
 • Rob Lefort
Marina Abramović, The Art of Being Human
How Performance Art strips away our psychological defenses and forces us to confront vulnerability, mortality, and existential angst.
 • Rob Lefort
Why You Keep Repeating the Same Mistakes and How to Fix the Bug
A New Year's Reality Check: Your brain's mental shortcuts can turn mistakes into habits. Here's why you keep repeating errors and what actually breaks…
 • Rob Lefort
Here's Why the Source of Your Anxiety Is Also Your Way Out
Discover how your brain's greatest liability—its ability to manufacture anxiety from thin air—is also your ticket to freedom.
 • Rob Lefort
The Subtle Art of Not Taking Your Partner For Granted
How to stop expecting your partner to read your mind, and discover a better way to communicate your needs to create a sustainable, balanced…
 • Rob Lefort
The Effort-Avoidance Bias: When Choosing Comfort Makes Your Life Smaller
Why laziness, procrastination, and avoidance are the same psychological mechanism—and how deliberately seeking friction rewires your brain from…
 • Rob Lefort
Why Smart People Stay Stuck (and What Actually Breaks the Pattern)
On blind spots, expertise traps, why self-improvement has structural limits, and why external feedback isn't optional
 • Rob Lefort
The Catch-22 of Anxious Attachment
Without self-worth, growth is impossible, but anxious attachment makes achieving it seem nearly impossible. Here's how to break free
 • Rob Lefort
We're Breaking Up Over Promises We Never Made
Most couples don't fail because they break agreements—they fail because they never made them.
 • Rob Lefort
You're Not Broken—Your Survival Strategy Is
Why capable people suddenly feel like they're disappearing—and what's actually collapsing when you can't recognize yourself anymore.
 • Rob Lefort
Why Your Brain Treats Bad Relationships Like a Slot Machine
The dopamine trap makes you choose people who keep you guessing. Here's the neuroscience behind why chaos feels like chemistry—and how to break the…
 • Rob Lefort
The Untangled Self
The Untangled Self
Practical tools for navigating anxiety, depression, and identity in the modern world, by a clinical psychologist.
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Rob Lefort
Psychotherapist

The Untangled Self

Practical tools for navigating anxiety, depression, and identity in the modern world, by a clinical psychologist.
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The Untangled Self

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