The Untangled Self
Subscribe
Sign in
Home
Notes
Psychology
Identity
Relationships
Therapy
Neuroscience
About
Latest
Top
Discussions
The Subtle Art of Not Taking Your Partner For Granted
How to stop expecting your partner to read your mind, and discover a better way to communicate your needs to create a sustainable, balanced…
Dec 17
•
Rob Lefort
10
4
The Effort-Avoidance Bias: When Choosing Comfort Makes Your Life Smaller
Why laziness, procrastination, and avoidance are the same psychological mechanism—and how deliberately seeking friction rewires your brain from…
Dec 12
•
Rob Lefort
72
9
14
Why Smart People Stay Stuck (and What Actually Breaks the Pattern)
On blind spots, expertise traps, why self-improvement has structural limits, and why external feedback isn't optional
Dec 10
•
Rob Lefort
8
1
The Catch-22 of Anxious Attachment
Without self-worth, growth is impossible, but anxious attachment makes achieving it seem nearly impossible. Here's how to break free
Dec 3
•
Rob Lefort
69
10
21
November 2025
We're Breaking Up Over Promises We Never Made
Most couples don't fail because they break agreements—they fail because they never made them.
Nov 26
•
Rob Lefort
33
2
5
You're Not Broken—Your Survival Strategy Is
Why capable people suddenly feel like they're disappearing—and what's actually collapsing when you can't recognize yourself anymore.
Nov 20
•
Rob Lefort
14
1
3
Why Your Brain Treats Bad Relationships Like a Slot Machine
The dopamine trap makes you choose people who keep you guessing. Here's the neuroscience behind why chaos feels like chemistry—and how to break the…
Nov 13
•
Rob Lefort
18
4
The Reason Why Self-Esteem Dies When You Know Yourself Too Well
Why self-aware people struggle with confidence, how to decode your envy, and why feeling like a fraud means you're more honest than most.
Nov 6
•
Rob Lefort
40
5
5
October 2025
A Cognitive Decline Foretold: Your Brain in the Age of AI
Technology promises ease, but our brains need challenge to stay sharp. What happens when we outsource thinking itself? A psychologist explores the…
Oct 25
•
Rob Lefort
17
5
Your Brain is Lying to You: The Hidden Culprit Behind Anxiety
Cognitive distortions fuel anxiety and depression by making your brain interpret reality as more threatening than it is. Learn how CBT helps you…
Oct 21
•
Rob Lefort
29
3
Why You Should Replace Long Term Plans for Micro Experiments
Discover why micro experiments beat grand plans for mental health. Learn to embrace uncertainty, decode procrastination, and experiment your way to a…
Oct 14
•
Rob Lefort
11
1
Borderline Personality and Relationships: When Love Isn't Enough
A therapist's honest, practical guide to navigating relationships with someone who has BPD—without the usual platitudes or oversimplifications.
Oct 9
•
Rob Lefort
15
4
3
This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please
turn on JavaScript
or unblock scripts