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Dr Simon Rogoff's avatar

Thanks for this! Its helpful is zooming out about what to focus on when we need change in a difficult relationship with narcissistic patterns. Focussing on the narcissism is not the only way forward. Yes npd is rare. At the same time i guess some of us do mix in circles where it is way above 1%. For example TV. But then why are we attracted to these circles?

Rob Lefort's avatar

Thank you for your feedback. Very good point. I was tempted to touch on the impact and principles of narcissistic personality style (as opposed to NPD) as described in the PDM, but that's too much a foreign and difficult concept to grasp for non-professionals.

Dr Simon Rogoff's avatar

Sure. I suppose im attempting the opposite and exploring narcissistic personality broadly as a set of strategies rather than traits or the more severe npd. Using a simple map of narcissism im hoping to make this accessable.

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Jul 21
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Rob Lefort's avatar

Interesting and valid question... Most of us have to a certain degree narcissistic traits in our personality without it being pathological. What constitutes a personality disorder is a set of traits on the extreme end of the spectrum. A narcissistic personality style on the other hand refers to people whose personality is organized around maintaining self-esteem by obtaining external affirmation. Typically though, anyone who has a real narcissistic personality disorder does not seek help or ask himself/herself the type of question you ask yourself.

Whether you should or not preoccupy yourself with a partner's opinion of your behavior depends on how much you care about that relationship, and how much each partner is ready to take responsibility for his/her behaviors. Behaviors that are disliked or judged are not automatically pathological or dysfunctional. It's up to you to decide.